Pushing Tin - The Training

OK - so today was my second day at the new job. No, I'm not training to be an actual air traffic controller, but the job is so similar that the difference doesn't bear explanation. Besides, I've got a shitload of studying to do.

Every night we have homework which involves copious reading of brain-numbing chapters of company policy, in addition to memorization of scads of airline codes and international locator codes. Thank goodness Bear found me a downloadable study program online which allows you to input the questions and answers to stuff you need to study, and then it tests you over and over and over in eight million different ways. Works like a charm! I got 100% on my quiz today - HOOAH!

Today we got to put our headsets on and listen to some live radio work going down, we learned how to use the touchscreen computer console to set up our work station, and then our instructor left for the day and we were abandoned to several hours of interactive video instruction on the following topics:

• How Not To Sell Company Secrets to Foreign Countries
• How Much Trouble You Can Get Into Here If You Screw Up
• Do Not Call Your CoWorkers "Honey", "Babe", or "Redneck" - It's Agin The Law!!
• Seventeen Ways To Report People Who Try To Suck You Into Screwing Up
• How Even Looking Like You Screwed Up Can Screw You Up
  

An added skill set I picked up today was one they probably hadn't planned on:

• How To Skim Through Annoying Fake Role-Played Conversations And Get To The Overtly Easy-To-Answer Quiz At The End

Even though I have already mentioned that I do not work for the FAA nor the ATC, I will still direct all of you to view the movie "Pushing Tin" to get an idea of what my workdays may be like if I make it through training alive and retain the capability of putting together a coherent sentence on the radio.

It's one of my favorite movies ever. Billy Bob Thornton is a genius, John Cusack is hysterical, and there's some nekkid Angelina Jolie in there, too... for those of you who needed to be convinced.