October rust

It's October, my favorite month of the year, and when I should be traipsing around in pumpkin patches and smelling the falling leaves, instead I find myself once again in lockdown mode.

The wonderful job that Bear had is no more. Apparently they lost a major contract and had to cut down on employees, starting with the most recently hired. He was so surprised, hurt, and knocked flat by this turn of events. All his coworkers and managers had been telling him what a great job he was doing, he was helping the company improve by implementing more organized plans for getting things done, and from my side I can tell you what a blessing it was to have two good incomes supporting our household.

Now, when the job market is nearly non-existent (unless you count working at a video store part time for eight bucks an hour), the holidays pressing in on us from every side, he is frantically searching for work. I feel so bad for him, because I know how demoralizing it is to lose a position, even if it "wasn't personal" and due to "downsizing" rather than getting out-and-out fired. And he's overqualified for most of the jobs he applies for - he's like a goldmine of ability and experience, and nobody has a shovel.

Quite frankly, I'm a little pissed off at the cosmos. Which doesn't make any sense, but neither does this constant run of crappy luck we've been having for oh, the past... eight years? At every turn, just when we're starting to get our noses above the water line, the rug gets yanked out from under us and we're flailing again. I've started to get bitter, I can feel it. Any time something good happens, I have the urge to sit back, put my boots up on the coffee table, chew on a toothpick, and say, "Yup, so when's the piano gonna fall out of the sky?"

Outside the hilltop monastery of St. Valeriano

See, maybe I tipped the scales by going on a trip to Italy with my mom. It was just too much fun, too good. Something bad had to happen to make me pay for it. I know that's ridiculous, but that's how it feels. I don't understand why some people are born just rolling around in money, some people get paid millions of dollars for playing a ball game, while others have to bang their heads against the wall their whole life to try and get by, sometimes failing altogether.

I know life isn't fair, but it sure would be nice if things took a big, unfair turn for the better. Just for a change, you know.



Not to leave this post completely on a downer, Bear and I are having good success with the South Beach Diet. Due, in great part, to Bear's wonderful ability to cook delicious food that stays within the boundaries set by the diet. We've got a freezer full of delicious stew, and he just made a batch of chili that would knock you down it's so good... and there are fresh salads, and all sorts of yummy stuff!

He's lost around 20 pounds so far, and I've lost about ten. My trip to Italy set me back a week, so I'm a bit behind him... but we're both looking and feeling better than we have in years. The waistbands of my jeans are learning to breathe again! Soon I will have only one chin! Hurrah! I can finally stop Photoshopping all the pictures of me! 8-) Yes, I do that. Vanity, vanity, all is vanity...