Saturday, January 19, 2013
Your Opinions, and The Result: A Happy Beginning
Since many of you were kind enough to accept my invitation and offer your pearls of wisdom the other day, regarding the issue of an upcoming wedding in my garden and the involvement of my dear mither, I thought I'd update you on what actually happened.
First, let me say that I'm glad I didn't jump in with both feet and blab out my first thoughts on the matter to my mother. For once, I sat back and let my brain simmer a while, and wrote a blog entry instead. After about a week, I realized that the important things in life are fleeting. My mom will not always be around. She's more important than any petty concerns on my part. Basically, I was being a selfish sod.
I called her. I expressed my gratitude for her kind offer, and my agreement that it would be lots of fun to do the project together, and then I expressed the reasons for my hesitation.
I decided to leave out the whole sleeping arrangement issue, because if I'm honest, that's really my problem, not hers. I just have to buy a new air mattress prior to her arrival, and that will be a solved issue. It shouldn't be on her shoulders. She already feels guilty about us giving her our bed when she visits. So - one thing out of the way.
Regarding the "queen of the hill" issue, I laughingly warned her that I was going to be a manic dictator the week before the wedding. She said, "Well, I have no dog in this race. I'm only coming to help you do whatever it is that you want to do. I just want to spend the time with you and make it easier for you to get things done, and have fun doing it. I promise not to challenge your decisions or try and take over the decorating. It's all yours." Wow. That was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Time will tell whether that is actually the case, but at least I have a stated declaration of intent, to which I can later refer...
Regarding the wedding dinner and reception party, she surprised me by saying, "I really like the wedding couple, but honestly I don't really know them that well. It's no problem at all whether or not I go to the dinner. I'll just call up a friend and go hang out with them for the evening." That was magnanimous, but I am still going to request that the couple allow us to pay for my mother's dinner and have her go along with us for at least that part of the festivities.
Mom also volunteered to bring along her video camera and record the ceremony, so that the couple will have something to watch on their anniversaries. We figured out that the upstairs back window of the cottage would be the perfect vantage point from which to capture the ceremony, including the bride's entrance walk through the side garden. This will, of course, be tried and tested in the week before the wedding.
So, it looks like Mom is coming up to help with the wedding preparations! And I'm really looking forward to it. I believe Bear is wishing he was going to be in Helsinki that week, though. HA!