Midday rant...

... in which I go all "R. Lee Ermey"

Can we just agree that it's easy to be a decent person, and that people who are shitheads spend more time and energy doing the wrong thing than they would have if they just did the right thing to begin with? Can we agree that people KNOW the right thing to do, and it's not over the top to expect them to do it?

Sigh.

Lately I've been hit with a plethora of small discourtesies by friends and coworkers, and it's starting to wear on me. As you might have gathered by now. Somehow these little expressions of disregard upset me more than if someone just walked up to me and shoved a cream pie in my face.

Here are some things I believe should apply to everyone.

1. If you owe someone money, say RENT, for example, pay it on time. Without being asked. Without making someone, say ME, for example, have to text several times in order to get it. Without telling me you're bringing it over, while I sit on my couch wondering when or if you're coming by, wondering whether I should just give up and go out to do my errands or not. If you know you can't pay on time, just send me a text or an email letting me know. I'm not an ogre, I will of course give you reasonable time without any hassle at all, but I JUST FREAKIN' WANT TO BE GIVEN THE COURTESY OF A HEADS-UP.

2. If you make plans with someone, those plans stand unless one or the other party actually calls and changes those plans. Does it get any simpler? No. I think it does not.

3. If you hold a job and you are required to be there at a certain time (who isn't?), especially if you are relieving someone who has just worked an eight hour shift and wants to go the hell home and see their own family, it's your responsibility to get there on time. Consistently skidding into the parking lot with three seconds left on the clock, calling the office and asking other people to stay late for you because you have so little regard for anyone but yourself and your life makes you a complete shite.

4. If someone tells you something personal, no matter who it's about, no matter how juicy it is, and even if they don't make you cross your heart and swear not to tell anyone, never - ever - repeat it to anyone else. With the possible caveat of a plot to murder. If someone tells you they're going to kill someone, it might be nice to let the authorities know so they can warn the intended victim. But besides that.... keep your trap shut. The only possible side effect to this courtesy is that once everyone realizes they can trust you, they will all tell you their deepest secrets. Which may lead to feelings of somehow having been involuntarily inducted into the clergy.

5. Please, please, please.... don't cut your fingernails at work. That's a personal, at-home-in-the-bathroom kind of activity. Your fingernails contain a plethora of unspeakable germs, and the thought of little bits of someone else's fingernails all over my keyboard/desk/workspace makes me nauseous. Not to mention that I can hear the annoying half hour of "snip snip snip" sounds across the room, no matter where I'm sitting. We all have to share our work stations at my office, we don't have "our own" desk... so cutting your fingernails at work is tantamount to picking your nose and wiping it all over the keyboard. Egads, people... seriously. Gross.


And that's it, really. See? Not even a long list. Being courteous has never caused anyone to pull a groin muscle. As a matter of fact, it makes life more pleasant because other people don't want to put their hands around your neck and choke the life out of you. They're actually happy to get the rent! Happy to see you at work! Happy to know that they can count on you!

The additional thing that gets my goat about the work issue specifically is that management is so willing to overlook this crappy behavior for particular individuals, and give me the side-eye when I get upset about it. I guarantee you this: if I ever started paying my bills whenever I felt like it and showing up to work late every day, they'd be on my ass like a hawk on a rabbit. It's just certain people that are allowed to be inconsiderate assholes, it seems. I must have been in the loo when they distributed the "get out of jail free" cards.

Thank you for listening, dear blogfriends. I will be back with a contrastingly upbeat post about our trip to Mystic soon.